Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Banette!
Average Height: 3′ 07”
Average Weight: 27.6 lbs
First Added In Generation III
Do you ever wonder about toys in the Toy Story universe who don’t just take it on the chin when their kid tosses them into the garbage or sells them at a local garage sale? There have to be some toys who decide to seek revenge on the kids who left them to rot. Until Pixar and Disney make THAT movie the closest thing we have is Banette, a Pokemon that is just one angry doll looking for payback.
According to Bulbapedia, Banette is a Pokemon that has come to life purely because it has a massive grudge against the person or people who threw it away. Once thrown away, Banette doesn’t move on. It holds on to that grudge and lets it fester. It keeps living in the very trash it was first thrown into, which seems like it has low self-esteem more than anything else. While it seethes with anger and looks for the one who threw it away, it will lay curses on other people because… eh why not?
Like a voodoo doll, or Microsoft’s own Voodoo Vince, Banette stabs itself with needles and pins to hurt and curse others. Dark stuff, but this is all made even darker when you remember that Banettes are mostly hunting down kids. Also, that means this little bundle of evil and pain is mostly created by kids. So thanks, you little bastards. I blame Fortnite for making toys boring.
Supposedly, folks can show Banette enough love and care to eventually destroy its powerful grudge and hatred, turning it back into a stuffed toy. Taking the life from something that is alive is murder, so if you decide to be nice to one of these things to “Make things right,” just remember YOU are now the evil one. Something to think about.
- It contains all of its rage and life force inside it by keeping its mouth zipped uptight. If you were to unzip this mouth it would lose its energy and probably die.
- When Banette Mega Evolves, it becomes so powerful and evil that it loses some control of its own powers and will curse its own trainer and anybody nearby. Why ANYONE would want to Mega Evolve an evil doll is beyond me though.
- I assume you could replace the doll’s zipper with velcro. I mean, why not?
Best Comment From Last Week
Pretty sure it’s actually the ghost of a stealth bomber that died in combat. It’s a war hero. Why do you hate the troops?
-Manny Both-Hanz Died
I respect the troops, but fuck the planes.